My
desire was to be used by God. I told Him that I wanted to speak only the
words He wanted me to speak and to only do the things He wanted me to do. I
wanted to be a vessel that was emptied of myself and full of Him. I wanted
to be walking in the Spirit all of the time. I wanted to grow spiritually
and become more sensitive to God's voice. I wanted people to see Him in me.
I had good intentions of spending time with Him first thing in the morning
every morning. I did that on a fairly regular basis, but not every morning.
I had good intentions of sitting down and reading my Bible during the day,
but usually didn't. Quite a few things changed for the better in my life. I
have been able to allow God to shine out of me, but not nearly all of the
time.
I have a friend that I met on the Internet a couple of years ago. Our
friendship was planned by God. She and I both have found ourselves in
similar situations in our spiritual walks at the same time. We end up being
able to encourage each other. We have been able to grow in the Lord
together. Often we get together in our own chat room and we praise the Lord
and pray together. We always come away from those sessions totally refreshed
and ready to face the world. God certainly knew what He was doing when He
put us together!
On February 12th we were discussing how difficult it was for us to hear
God's voice sometimes. We were discussing our ups and downs in our spiritual
walks. We reflected on how we often ended up going over the same ground that
we had already covered. We talked about how we couldn't reach the spiritual
level that we desired. The more we talked about it the more frustrating it
became to see how we were having difficulty staying in the place that God
wanted us. We came to a very uncomfortable conclusion. It was time to make a
vow to God.
The instant we looked at the word "vow" we both could feel our stomachs
churning. We began to do a dance around the word. There was something
awfully scary about the thought of making a vow to God. I imagine that, if
you are at the same spiritual roadblock that we found ourselves, you know
exactly what I mean. Your brain is probably frantically looking for a reason
NOT to make a vow.
What kind of vows to people make these days? The main one I can think of is
a vow at the time of getting married. However, in today's society as couples
make their vows to each other the they are probably not thinking "I promise"
but more like "I promise I will try." There are other vows that people take,
usually as a form of membership into an organization. However, I couldn't
think of any vows that "society" considered unbreakable.
In the United States, we live in a democracy. We can have very strong
opinions about things and then back them up with NOTHING. Then, the next
day, we could change our minds and it would be OK. Nobody would bat an eye.
We are not expected to stand firmly on any issues any more. This has become
a disposable and changing society. We are not required to stand firmly in
our convictions. As a result we seem to feel we can make commitments and
then back out of them when they are too hard to keep.
Yet, God's Word to us is full of promises. How can we expect God to stand by
His promises to us and not be willing to promise Him anything? We say, "I
want all that You promise, God, but You can't depend on me for anything at
all." Or, we tell Him that we will serve Him and then only do it when it is
easy. It was easy to justify my actions when I slipped up and did things
that I knew God wouldn't like. After all, I was trying!
As my friend and I danced around the word "vow" the words "good-time Christian" came
to our minds. We often look at ourselves as
someone who just wants to go on dates and have a good time but doesn't look
for the long-term commitment with God. We don't want to get married. It is
too hard. We are content to let God be the one to stand firmly in His
commitments to us.
We both were feeling sick to our stomachs. We danced around the topic of
making vows to God until there was nothing else to say. We either were or we
weren't. If we were to get to the spiritual place that we wanted to be in
then there was no other route. We had to make vows of commitment to God.
We examined what a vow was. A vow was a promise. To us a promise is
something that we don't take lightly. If we promise something then we feel
we must must must follow through with our promise no matter what. We thought
about vows mentioned in the Bible. The Bible warns about breaking vows.
"If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with
a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that
proceedeth out of his mouth." Numbers 30:2
"When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to
pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be
sin in thee." Deuteronomy 23:21
The Nazarites made a vow to dedicate their lives to God and they SHAVED
THEIR HEADS to show that they were serious. Back then, shaving your head was
much more significant than it is now. So, they did something that was
actually very embarrassing to them, but they did it for God to show their
seriousness. They did it because a vow to God is EXTREMELY SERIOUS BUSINESS.
If we made a vow to God we would most certainly have to keep it. We would
never be able to say, "You misunderstood me," to God. If you make a vow to a
person then there is always a chance that you will be able to avoid
fulfilling your vow. That person could move away or could forget. God won't
move and God won't forget.
If we vowed a vow to God WE'D HAVE TO KEEP IT! That was the bottom line.
There was no other way to look at it. There was no way to soften it or to
make it easier to swallow. Once it was out there
then it would be carved in stone. It would be written across the sky in
letters that would never fade. It would be engraved on our foreheads.
Stomachs churning, we began to tell God how sorry we were for our lack of
serious commitment. We faced the fact that, once we made vows of commitment,
that we would no longer be facing our same old lives. We would no longer be
able to be the same old people. We would no longer be able to use our mouths
for our own selves. We would no longer have the use of our bodies and minds
to serve ourselves.
I had to work my way up to it. I actually had to turn my brain off and let
God fill my mouth because, in the flesh, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
I had to choose to let God help me make the vow. It was like jumping off a
cliff and having the faith that God would keep me from hitting the ground.
I am going to share my vows with you. I hesitate in actually putting them
online, but, after all, they are as good as permanently etched across the
sky. I made them and there is no way out of them. God expects me to fulfill
them.
MY VOW
2/12/02
I offer
myself as a willing vessel... to be used by You, to be filled by You. I
am Yours. All that I am all that I have is Yours. I step out of the
comfort zone. I no longer hold on to life as I know it. I am no longer
looking forward to life as usual.
I am stepping over the barrier. I am
coming to You and offering my life. If I am to be a doormat, so be it.
My mouth is not for protecting my "self."
I hold nothing back from You. I withhold nothing. I release all
embarrassment, all fear, all pride, all self, anything you require.
I choose You, Lord, only You. I promise to love You and Honor You and
Obey You every moment of my existence. I promise to seek Your will over
my own every single time. Never to choose my "self" again.
I release my
life to You. I release my time to You. I surrender. I promise I will put
Your Kingdom ahead of all else. Your Kingdom. Your Will, Your rule in my
heart and life.
|
I am
already struggling with the vows. I can't tell you how many times I've
opened my mouth to say something and have had to clamp it shut. The vows
have caused me to place God in the forefront of my mind all the time. It
isn't easy to stay on top of my vows. Nothing else around me has changed. I
am still expected to be the "mom" and "wife" to my family.
However, God is already blessing me for my commitment. At our new Bible
study He sent me a Word and told me that He was pleased with me and with my
efforts. He told me that I would be doing many things for Him. He knew that
I needed encouragement. He is going to help me every step of the way because
it is Him that laid the need for making vows on my heart.
A vow is the ultimate commitment to God. I encourage you to make one (or
more!) If you are not able to make one at this time then place it on a back
burner in your mind. If God feels you need to make one then He will bug you
about it now and then. You will know because the thought will pop into your
mind over and over. You will have the choice to make one or not. He won't
force you to make one. However, it may be necessary if you are to be walking
in His will.
Don't go away mad at me for bringing it to your attention. OK? After all, if
God wants you to make one then He would have let you know somehow, with or
without my help. |
