CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS
Smiley faces


  • The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

  • Stewardship Offertory Hymn: "Jesus Paid It All"

  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

  • The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

  • The Rev. Bland spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

  •  During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A.B. Fellows supplied our pulpit.

  • Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door.

  • Due to the Pastor's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 

  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

  • "FASTING CONFERENCE" The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

  • The Peacemaking meeting scheduled for Saturday has been canceled due to conflict.

  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.  She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

  • The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:  "Break Forth Into Joy."

  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

  • Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.  Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00PM - - prayer and medication to follow.

  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.

  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:  "I Upped My Pledge - - Up Yours."

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist.  Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

  • The sermon this morning:  "Jesus Walks on the Water."  The sermon tonight:  "Searching for Jesus."

  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8PM in the recreation hall.  Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.  Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

  • Ms. Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again" giving obvious pleasure to the Congregation.

  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.


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