The First Noel
The First Noel, the Angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In my mind "certain" meant to "guide".  I pictured the shepherds being guided to the stable in Bethlehem.

All Hail the Power of Jesus' name!
All hail the power of Jesus' name!
Let angels prostrate fall,
OK, this one is kind of icky.  I thought it was "prostates".  When I was younger I didn't know what a prostate was but I knew that something was falling off the angels.  I guess it is just as well I didn't know.

Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing
Hark!  The herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn king.
So, why was only one angel singing and how did we know his name was Harold?  I thought it was Hark!  The Harold angel sings, "Glory to the newborn king."

Silent Night, Holy Night
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
In my young mind I figured Mary must be fat.  After all, we called her the round virgin.

Winter Wonderland
Later on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
What happens when you lay by the fire too long?  That's right.... you PERSPIRE!

Bringing in the Sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves;
Being the intelligent child that I was, I knew that whoever wrote this song made a big mistake.  One sheep is a sheep, and many sheep are sheep not "sheeps".

God-Shaped Hole by Plumb
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And the restless soul is searching
I never knew the name of this song for a long time.  If I had I'd have known what the lyrics were.  I listened and listened and listened and just couldn't figure it out.  All I could hear her singing was there was a "Gotcha-tope" in all of us.  It still sounds that way even though I know what she's saying.

Football Cheer
Whop 'em on the side of the head, a hey-hey.
My mom used to go to the high school football games to watch my brothers and myself when we were in band.  She didn't go to watch the game, just the half-time show.  One day she couldn't take it any more and wanted to know why the cheerleaders would use such a dumb cheer as, "Waffles on the side of the head, a hey-hey."

Bad Moon Rising by Credence Clearwater
There's a "bad moon on the rise" is how the lyrics go.
I used to think they were saying "there's a bathroom on the right" which didn't really make a lot of sense, but if you are a famous band I guess you can sing whatever you want.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles
I used to think they were saying "Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds."