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Welcome! |
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HAPPY OCTOBER!
It is finally cooling off here in Arizona! Yay! I'm getting more energy to get things done around the house. I'm almost done getting my office organized. It is easier to work in my office now. Outside the house is a mess. We put in a doggy door months ago and it exits next to the sidewalk leading up to the front door. I need to put gravel down out there and put everything back where it belongs. I need to clean out and replant my garden. There are piles of stuff outside that my husband has accumulated. He knows it bugs me. I have to attack those piles and see what has deteriorated in the weather and trash it. Plus there are a lot more things that need to be done. Now I'm thinking about the projects indoors that I need to do and I'm feeling a bit anxious. On to another subject. My new kittens ae soooo sweet, Muffin in particular! I'm learning to tell them apart. I'm still putting them in the dog crate when I leave the house. My old cat, Sweetie, still growls at them but not as loud. Our pitbull, Darlin', occasionally growls at them. I'm wondering if the kittens were wrestling on the couch and fell on top of Darlin' if Darlin' might attack, thinking she's being attacked. I can't chance it. I don't think she'd do it but one never knows with animals, even our own. Our snowbird neighbors are coming back to live across the street next week. I never heard of snowbirds until we moved here. They are the people who can afford to have two houses, a winter house and a summer house. I miss them when they are gone! Have a blessed weekend! On down to the Bible Study! |
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Sometimes the Bible study was started in the welcome message. Each Bible study has a link to that week's welcome. Did you know I was blogging before there was such a thing as a blog? Did you miss last week? Here it is. |
| "And
be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God
for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Eph 4:32 |
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| I have three brothers.
I no longer speak to the youngest two. The youngest (#3) lived with my
mother for most of his life. He said it was all but two years of his
life. Because he was living there he would have been in charge of
taking care of Mom when she began having problems. Well, he said he
was taking care of her but he wasn't. I knew he wouldn't take care of her based on his previous actions....staying in his room all day and coming out to eat and shower when Mom was asleep. Not moving his truck when she needed to go somewhere in her car. Not taking her to her doctors or to physical therapy after she got a new hip. Having cameras watching the neighborhood so he could watch from his bed. Saying he wouldn't take Mom on walks because it was a dangerous neighborhood. (It was a wonderful neighborhood and lots of families walked it every night!) I was on Mom's health care power of attorney so I took action. I made a doctor appointment for her. When I arrived (a minimum 45 minute drive for me from my house) she was not ready. She said #3 had cancelled her appointment because "doctors only want your money." Even though I sent copies of the power of attorney to all her doctors they quit taking my calls because #3 told them not to talk to me. How am I going to make this a short story? I have a journal of everything that happened for four years before I found out my mother had died two weeks prior. During that four years I had contacted Adult Protective Service who broke the law of anonymity and let my mother know I was the one who called. They defended #3 and Mom told me to get out of her life. At one point brother #2 said he was moving in with Mom to do the things for her that #3 couldn't and wouldn't do. It turned out he neglected to tell Mom he was moving in and she was very upset. He brought his mean, fat, little dog with him. Mom had to clean up the dog's messes in the house and #2 denied it was happening. The dog was biting her heels as well. #2 was a slob and left his dirty dishes for someone else to wash. He went back home to Wisconsin without telling me. It turned out his work must have sent him to California for a period of time. He used Mom's car (which made her angry) to drive to work. I was there at Mom's once when he came home. He didn't know I was there. He changed his clothes and rode a bike down to the park where he liked to watch the young girls play softball. He came right back because only men were playing.  He never asked #3 how Mom was, what she had for lunch or breakfast, or had any kind of discussion. He was not there to take care of her!! I had filed for conservatorship of Mom not knowing she was dead. An attorney that #3 and #2 had taken Mom to in order to change her trust called my attorney to let him know she was dead. The brothers had her trust changed from 4% of everything to #3 (Mom said his mooching off of her all those years was his inheritance) to the house and everything in it went to #3. This was done after #2 had taken her to a geriatric doctor who diagnosed her with moderate dementia. At the time I did not know what was in the new trust and time was running out for me to contest it I decided to contest it. In his deposition #2 said he had called #3 when Mom was doing poorly and asked if he should take Mom to an assisted living facility so they could rehydrate her. What?? #2 had told him he was in charge of taking care of her so it was up to him. So, the autopsy said she died of starvation due to Alzheimer's. Well, the autopsy proved she did not have Alzheimer's but that didn't matter to the coroner. It mattered to me because I could have taken her to doctors that would have diagnosed and treated her thyroid problem (atrophied in autopsy), lack of nutrition, lack of water, and all the other things that can cause dementia that she had. When she died (she was 5' 5") she weighed 69 pounds (11.5 BMI), had no food in her system, was dehydrated, and had 28 square inches of bedsores on her back. The coroner said that people with Alzheimer's quit eating on their own. Not true. One of my son's worked as a caregiver in a place where he was in charge of ten people with Alzheimer's. He never let them go without eating. I happen to know that, when Mom quit asking for food, #3 quit feeding her. By the way, when she became somewhat bedridden, #3 put noisemakers along the sides of her bed that would make a loud noise when she tried to get out of bed. He also put a camera in her bedroom so he could watch her from his bed. If I was getting dementia and loud noises went off when I tried to get out of bed I'd probably not want to get out of bed any more! Even Mom's younger brother supported #2 and #3. He visited and helped #3 give Mom a bath. He said she cried the whole time. Well, #3 never got anyone to help him take care of Mom as he was directed by the geriatric doctor. He couldn't give her a bath by himself. So, her brother didn't see that Mom, being a very prim and proper woman, was totally embarrassed being naked in front of her son and brother! Basically, #3 killed Mom and #2 helped him do it and my uncle assisted them. That is the story in a nutshell. I still love my brothers and keep praying for them. I want to hear them say they are sorry, but it has been sixteen years and I've heard nothing. I watched Erika Kirk forgive the young man that killed her husband. Oh, my, what courage! What a strong woman she is! I haven't been able to forgive my brothers but that demonstration of following God's rules made me stop and think. I am wrong. I must forgive them. This is hard. I forgive my brothers for what they did. I was ignoring another aspect of forgiveness: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Mt 6: 14-15 I just didn't want to forgive my brothers because they turned a blind eye to Mom's suffering. Here at the Clarion Call I've talked about doing what God tells us to do and I was not doing it myself! Well, I finally did it. Now I'm going to go pray that God boink me on the back of the head with anything else I need to do. I'm still going to pray that my brothers and all the other people who failed to help Mom will experience the exact same "good care" that they said Mom received when she was unable to care for herself. That goes for:
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Did you miss last week? Here it is. The old Bible studies can be found using any of the three links below.
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Eagle head pictures
courtesy of
Sue Woosley
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