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How Can God Help When Trials Come?
Part 2

(Newest ones are last)
Part 1 Part 1:  How Can God Help When Trials Come?
He IS! Squashed But Not Dead


10/5/09  Squashed But Not Dead
"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body."
2Cor 4:8-10
As I started saying in the welcome message, I took a three year sabbatical from working here at the Clarion Call.  I had a spiritual crisis.  All of a sudden I was just not sure if I could hear God's voice any more.

During that crisis I just plain fell apart.  I panicked and started to wonder if I had ever heard God's voice.  Of course, the alternative was that I was crazy, so I explored that theory for a short time.  After all, there are those that say that I am.

I cried out to God, asking Him what I did wrong.  After all, I thought, it had to be something I did wrong.  Then I got to a point where I just tried to ignore God.  I was confused, hurt, mad, and sad.  (I'm giving you the nutshell version, so you are only getting the highlights.  After all, it was over three years of time!)

In the meantime more disasters began to fall on my family and myself.  I felt myself slipping into depression.  My brain began to shut down to hide from the world.  Some incredibly awful things happened during that three years yet I was never totally crushed.

My friends were in awe that I was able to do as well as I was in the face of such adversity.  I was pretty amazed myself.  I was not allowing the depression to take me all the way down.  I was not getting hysterical and I wasn't giving up.  I was meeting each challenge head-on.

I had a super-natural strength.  I was "troubled on every side yet not distressed", I was "perplexed but not in despair", and I was "cast down but not destroyed".  In spite of the fact I couldn't feel God's presence, He was with me.

I kept reminding God that He promised to never leave me or forsake me (Heb 13:5, Deut 31:6 & 8), like it was God and not ME that needed reminding!  I listened to praise music even though I found it hard to praise Him.  I didn't pray much, but tried to pray.  I read my Bible off and on even though I felt disconnected from the Word.

I contemplated how easy it would be to pretend everything was all right.  I could start up the weekly Bible studies and answer my emails with things that I felt were right.  I could push all the doubts and questions into the back of my mind and forget them.  Nobody would know, right?  Wrong!  God would know.  Then, ultimately, you would know, too.

So, the last few months I found myself being drawn back to God.  I received a bunch of emails from people saying how much things at the Clarion Call had helped them.  It was then that I felt God nudging me along.  I began to set my alarm clock to get up an hour early in the mornings to seek His face.

The trials I have gone through (and am still going through) are for a reason.  I'm thinking the enemy began to get worried when he saw me preparing to come back to the Clarion Call.  Can God stop the attacks?  Yes, absolutely.  Why doesn't He?  I've gained knowledge about things.  I've become stronger.  I've improved spiritually somehow.  He allowed them to happen.

I don't understand it all, but it isn't for me to understand.  I'm just glad I kept bouncing back from the attacks.  It felt like someone was smashing me flat but that feeling only lasted a short time.  I bounced back each and every time.  Does that mean I'm made out of holy rubber?  Maybe so. 

OK, that's the end of this Bible study.  I'm out of here. 
Bouncing smiley
Link to 10/5/09 welcome message

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