Out of This World Faith
OUT OF THIS WORLD FAITH
 THE ENTIRE STORY
Part 1:  How It All Happened
 Part 2:  The Entire Story-Part 1
 Part 3:  The Conclusions, What Happened?
This page was designed with the Maiandra GD font.   You can download it here.




BUG'S MOST EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
My cat, Bug, began to sit next to his water bowl and drink and drink and drink.  I knew something was wrong and took him to the vet.  The vet said Bug had bad kidney.   I began asking God if I should be speaking life into him as I did to Reeboks.  If you never read the story about Reeboks and speaking life you may want to go do that now.  On February 9, 2006 God said, "There are four things I want you to know.  I love cats.  I'm not hiding or sleeping.  I am able to accomplish my purposes in spite of man.  Just do it, speak life:  life into the Body, life into Bug, life life life."

I started speaking life into Bug and he seemed to be getting better.  He started eating better and was getting more energy.  He started to play peek-a-boo with me again.  He started running again.  He quit drinking so much water, too.

So, just as my Reeboks had gotten slowly better Bug was getting slowly better.  I kept speaking life into him.  I was anticipating that my two terminally ill cats were going to live long lives so that my faith would be increased and your faith would be increased.

However, Bug was still lumpy.  It almost looked like his kidneys were growing.  He still drank more water than normal.  The cat boxes kept filling up with kitty pee.  Reeboks is still on a small dose of diuretic, so he pees more and Bug, too, had to be peeing more since he was still drinking a lot of water.  I was seeing signs that all was not well with Bug.

When God first told me I had the authority to speak life I was kind of stumped as to just exactly how one goes about speaking life.  So I said various versions of:
"I speak life into your body."
"With the authority given me by the Lord God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, I speak life into your body."
"Life life life."
"In Jesus' name I speak life into your body."
"You hear that, satan??  My cat has LIFE!"

I didn't want to do it wrong, you see.  So, after Reeboks was healthy and happy again I started asking God if that authority had only been limited to that one occasion.  I never got any more insight from Him on it.  Off and on over the years I asked about it and just never got any direction from God on the subject.

Off and on I would ponder the lack of miracles and signs and such in the Body of Christ.  It was almost like the Body of Christ is dying.  The parts of it are falling away or they are diseased by being filled by doubt, unbelief, and traditional thinking about God.  There are certain miracles that are acceptable to people like a healing when we or a loved one are sick.  Healing is a miracle that probably nobody would reject.  Maybe that is why God chose healing cats as a demonstration.  It is small, easier to swallow, and opens the door to bigger things.  I don't know.

Over the years I have gone through some very intense trials.  I often shared the trials with you in my welcome messages.  Sometimes the trials were such that I couldn't share them.  So, as I focused on God and let Him lead me through those trials.  Perhaps He was strengthening me for times like this.  My strength and faith were being made greater.  Again, I don't know.

Anyway, Bug was sent home to die by the vet.  God told me to speak life into him, I believed God.  Still not knowing if using the right words was important I just kept saying it different ways.  I spoke into his kidneys, his blood, and his whole body.  I sometimes just said, "Llife, life, life."


HAVING DOUBTS
When I would see his swollen sides I would start to have doubts.  Then I would immediately pull my thoughts back to what I knew.  God cannot lie!  God told me to speak life into Bug!  I was not dreaming nor was I doing any wishful thinking.

Maybe I should interject here that I was not a fanatic about my pets.  I loved them dearly, but I kept in perspective that they were just pets and not humans.  As a one-income family it just wasn't in our budget to spend lots of money on surgeries and such for our pets.  So, God just had to take care of the big things.

Bug was my cat and I loved him, but he loved my sons more than he loved me.  He ran to them when they came home.  He came to me when I came home when it was close to the time for him to eat.  So, I didn't twisting this around into any kind of "save my cat because I love him and would miss him if he dies" type of thing.  I've had pets put down when they developed life-ending diseases before.


ALL WAS NOT WELL
So, Bug went from appearing to get better to getting worse.  He got thinner in the rest of his body and fatter in his kidneys.  The week of May 8th, he began losing energy again and not eating well.  My eyeballs saw a sick cat.  Yet, I continued to speak life into him and kept telling myself that God is sovereign and He cannot lie.  He has to follow through on His part.


FROM BAD TO WORSE
Then, Saturday, May 13th, my youngest son's dog got away from me and grabbed Bug by the back end.  Amidst our screaming and yelling, my husband helped me pry the dog's mouth open.  I took the dog outside to punish it while the incident was still in the dog's mind.  If there was any hope for the dog to learn not do ever do that again the punishment must be concurrent with the crime.  (Side note:  the dog is a fairly new pet here and was raised by someone else the first two years of her life.  It was my fault.  I had seen her try to play with my cats, who are indoor cats, and I thought that the process of realizing they were not prey cats had taken place.  All our dogs, when they are new, get to "meet" the cats through the doors and windows and end up accepting them as companions and not prey.  I was lax and lost control of her.)

My husband went under our bed and pulled Bug out.  He told me we'd have to get him to a vet because his leg was broken.  We also didn't know if there were internal injuries.  It was after 5:00PM on a Saturday.  Our vet was closed and their phone rang and rang.  It rang six times before the answer machine picked up.  The message went on and on before they gave an emergency phone number to the emergency clinic at the end.  I wrote it down wrong and it didn't work.  I kept crying, "Oh God, oh God!"  I needed His help!

I called another vet's office and they gave the same clinic number.  I had written down the wrong area code.  I dialed the clinic and got directions.

My husband and I took Bug to the clinic.  It wasn't very close to our house and the traffic was horrible!  I was not doing well.  I was racked with guilt over allowing the dog in the house without a leash in the first place.  I was watching my cat flop back and forth trying to get comfortable as his leg just dangled.  He was amazingly calm.  I had put him in the cat carrier because I didn't know how to hold him.  I am not good with injuries or blood.  I've never passed out, but have come close.  I would never have been able to be a nurse or doctor!  So, I couldn't hold him.

My husband had to drive because I was probably in some kind of shock.  I felt like throwing up, then I felt like I was burning up.  My husband had to insist that I talk to Bug.  I was a mess.  Shame on me!

I KEPT SPEAKING LIFE
As we were about 20 minutes into our trip it occurred to me that I should definitely be speaking life into Bug.  In my panic everything I had been told had fallen out of my head!  GOD WAS STILL GOD AND HE WASN'T IN A STATE OF PANIC!  So, I spoke words of life into Bug and told him I loved him.

This whole time I kept asking God why He wasn't making the trip easy.  Why, if my cat was to live, was the traffic keeping us from getting to the clinic where there was help??  A half hour trip took almost an hour!  I was also asking why did this happen?  This isn't life!  This could be more death piled on top of the kidney death!  Why why why???

When we got there I explained that his kidneys were bad only because the kidneys were still enlarged.  I didn't tell them that Bug was going to live because God gave me the authority to speak life.  It was first things first.  Find out what his injuries were.  I didn't want them to get distracted by the size of his kidneys.

As we looked at Bug's x-ray we saw a bunch of bones where his back leg should be.  That was the damage the dog did.  The vet explained that bad kidneys create a situation in the blood stream that hinders bones from setting.  She said broken bones in cats are not a problem.  There is a saying in the vet business about if a cat's bones are all in the same room they will heal except that would be in a healthy cat and Bug was not a healthy cat.

Bug was also dehydrated, anemic, and underweight.  She was insinuating that the chances of his bones setting was slim to none.  Plus, he probably was not strong enough to survive surgery for amputation.  She said a blood test would show how bad he was.  So, I told her to run that test.

We waited for the hour it took to get the results.  In the meantime I was agonizing over why Bug was still an unhealthy cat if I had been speaking life into him.  I was wrestling with God.  Then I was speaking more life into Bug.  Then wrestling again.  Then more life.  I was trying to review everything with my husband.  He probably wasn't all that positive that I was not just hearing things instead of hearing God.

Bug's blood levels were not good at all.  Some of the levels didn't register because they were too far out of range of normal.

She said they could try to get him stronger by giving him various nutrients in an IV.  She had expressed surprise that my family vet hadn't put Bug on a special diet or some kind of medication.  (I found out much later that my vet was not good with cats.)


A STEP IN FAITH
Knowing that Bug was supposed to live I told her to go ahead.  My husband and I had discussed the fact that having Bug treated was going to cost money.  We were having to replace our heater/air conditioner before summer comes.  We had termites in our house and would probably need to be tented.  We were looking at some major expenditures in the next few months and our income had not increased.


MORE DOUBTS
I was trying to verbalize the thoughts I was having.  I began having doubts.  If Bug was to live then why were the kidneys still bad?  Why did Bug now have a broken bone to deal with as well?  I thought God cannot lie.  Maybe I heard Him wrong.  Maybe I was crazy.  If I was crazy and couldn't hear God then this Clarion Call ministry was all a sham and I'd have to pull it off the Internet.


MORE FAITH
I pushed all those thoughts away and decided I was going to stand on what I knew to be true.  My old cat, Reeboks, was still alive because God gave me the authority to speak life into him.  God, again, told me to speak life into Bug this time.  It was not going as quickly as with Reeboks, but I came to one decision.  I told my husband, "If I tell them to put Bug down then I am calling God a liar."  My husband agreed that I couldn't do that so we authorized the vet to begin treatment even though the estimate was $495-$795.  Ouch!  That took lot of years of clipping grocery coupons to get that back!

On the way home my husband, who really wasn't a cat lover but just tolerated them, made the remark that maybe the reason God allowed the dog to bite the cat was to get him to the vet because his kidneys were failing.  Maybe God wanted the vets to witness a miracle, too.  Wow.  That put some peace into my struggle I was having trying to understand why all of that was happening when I had the authority to speak life.  All I could see was possible death.

We went home.  They told me to call and get Bug's status in the morning on Sunday, Mother's Day.  They wanted to recheck his blood and I was to call back that night.  I turned my focus on enjoying our family game of Mother's Day Croquet and the dinner that my youngest son prepared.  Like my husband had pointed out, Bug was now going to get help for his leg AND his kidneys.


GOOD NEWS
That night I called and they said he was doing good and they wanted to check his blood again and to call back in two hours!  Ahhh yes, praise GOD!  The sun started to shine!!

I called back at 10:00PM and the receptionist only said that there were no changes.  She didn't know anything else.  That didn't make any sense.  So, now what?  I asked if the leg had been splinted and the vet came on the phone.  It was a different vet than the first one.


IT WASN'T GOOD, IT WAS BAD
The second vet began to fumble around with the paperwork and was saying she didn't know what blood test she was looking at and that she only had one in front of her.  (Supposedly they had checked his blood three times.)  She began reading off the blood counts and telling me how bad they were.

She said his bone was so badly shattered that it would take a specialist to fix it and then the chances were slim of it healing.  She began to talk about infection and other negative things.  Not only did the sun go back down I was starting to shake.  My knees would barely hold me up.

I began to express my displeasure to her and told her the things the first vet had told me.  The first vet never mentioned infection, said cat's bones heal well, etc. etc.  I was given the impression that the bones would be fine as long as Bug's blood counts could be brought back closer to normal.  The first vet knew how badly it was broken but she wasn't concerned.

Then this second vet insinuated that I was probably too emotional and didn't hear correctly.  I offered to put my husband on the phone because he was there too.  He wasn't under stress.  I turned to my husband and asked him if I had said anything differently than what the first vet had said.  He confirmed what we had been told.

Like I said before, I'm taking you on each step of this journey with me so you can be able to weather your particular spiritual storm with a little encouragement after seeing my storm.


THE VET SPOKE OF DEATH
At 11:00PM the vet called me back.  She found the rest of the blood work and it wasn't good.  She was hinting at putting my cat down.  She saw no hope just as my own vet had no hope.

We went to bed at 11:30PM.  I had to get up and drive my husband to work at 4:30AM so I could keep the smaller vehicle to go get Bug.  They were an emergency clinic only and would close Monday morning at 8:00AM.  All animals had to be picked up.

At midnight the vet called me back.  She had taken x-rays of his kidneys and told me one was not working and the other one was bad.  I already was told that was probably the case by my family doctor.  She urged me to consider putting Bug down!

On Monday I was running on four hours sleep.  I took my husband to work and came home.  I didn't know if Bug would be splinted and ready to stay home to heal or would need further care or what.  So, I prepared a place for him on the living room floor.  I cut a wire cage to keep him from moving all over the house since I didn't know what to expect.  I made a small, low catbox out of a cardboard box with a plastic bag liner.


LAYING IT ALL BEFORE GOD
I kept speaking life into him, as I had been since February when he was first diagnosed with bad kidneys.  I kept praying for strength and more faith.  I was just laying myself out, helpless before God.  I didn't know what else to do.

My son, the one who found Bug in a park as a kitten, went with me to help.  We checked Bug out of the emergency hospital.  He had a neon-green wrap over a splint on his back leg.  That thing was half again as long as his leg!  He had lost a toenail on his other hind paw.  He had a red wrap on one of his front legs.  The vet did not come out to talk to us.  The discharge papers directed us to get my cat to my vet for further care that morning.


PUSHING OUT THE DOUBTS
I guess my complaints about the conflicting stories between the two vets made a difference.  They didn't charge me for a bunch of things that they did, like more x-rays and tests.  I paid only $465.  (I say "only" but that was $465 added to my flip-flopping faith and doubts.  Was I foolish to spend money?  Did I do the wrong thing?)  So I pushed all doubts out of my head.  I didn't allow myself to begin wondering WHAT NOW?  I have a cat that can't walk and who is still unhealthy! 

Focus focus focus.  Don't waver!!
"But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."
James 1:6

 

Monday, May 15, 2006
FINDING A VET WHO BELIEVED AND HAD FAITH
I had decided to change vets when I heard that my cat could have been given a special diet and some type of nutrient transfusions to assist his kidneys in healing.  Our vet was close to our house and we had gone to them for 20 years.  There was another vet that was popular and, the best part... he was a Christian.  I needed my vet to go along with me on the faith in what is to be rather than doom and gloom in what our eyes see and what our brains know.  Believe me, looking at Bug I could feel the tug of doom and gloom at the back of my mind.

I had left messages on my vet's answer machine to call me as soon as they were open.  They didn't.  So, I called to let them know I was on my way and my cat, Bug, was having an emergency.  I told them I was changing vets and to give me copies of all his blood work and x-rays.  They hadn't begun.  Again, why?  Why was God creating delays?  How far was my faith to be stretched?  Every time it seemed like something wasn't going the way it should had God been in control it caused me to start to doubt.  Little doubts that started to grow.  They were like fast-growing seeds that turned into giant sunflowers of doubt.


MORE SUNFLOWERS OF DOUBT
Did I not hear God correctly?  Was I just crazy to think that it was God speaking to me?  Maybe I misunderstood a part of it.  Maybe I wasn't doing it right.  Maybe God wasn't going to fulfill His end.... HOLD IT!  Every time doubts started to grow I had to just shove ALL of them into the back of my mind and ignore them.  Yet, reason, logic, and common sense all demanded that I take all things into consideration including my doubts.  After all, I am and have been a very logical person.  I know what I see and hear after all!!  Was I a fool to not look at all the different scenarios and possible outcomes??  I was even fighting myself.  It had always served me well to be prepared for various outcomes to situations.  I had to ignore my own brain which kept urging me to be prepared for other outcomes!

Finally, they handed me Bug's medical records and my son, Bug, and I drove another 20 minutes to the new vet.  The waiting room was OVERFLOWING!  There must have been at least 30 other animals to be seen ahead of us!  When they finished getting Bug's information when we checked in I asked the receptionist if all the vets there were Christian.  She didn't know.  Hmmm.... that's not good.  They advertise that they are Christians, but the employees don't know.  Something wrong there, but that is not part of this journey.  I told her I specifically needed a Christian vet.


FEELING A GLIMMER OF HOPE
In my mind we were at our last stop.  A Christian vet would have the answers!  I was feeling hopeful that he would allow God to use him to get Bug back up and running!  I paced back and forth as we waited for the vet to come in.  I was pushing doubts away as fast as they were popping into my head.  They were popping into my head as fast as popcorn popping.

The vet came in and as I quickly gave an overview of Bug's medical condition coupled with my being given the authority to speak life the vet was looking at me with a strange look on his face.  A helper was in there, too and he had a similar look.  After I finished talking the vet simply asked, "What do you want me to do?"  I told him I didn't know what to say other than the emergency clinic told me to take Bug directly to my vet and now he was my vet.

He took the x-rays into another room and studied them.  He was gone a long time.  Bug finally fell asleep for a little while.  I'm so glad my son was there to help handle him.  I had to stay focused on what God had told me and on what I knew to be truth.  I had to continue to fight down all the doubt, confusion, and "what-if's" that were burning in the back of my mind when I looked at my lumpy kidneyed, green-splinted kitty.

When the vet came back he told me he didn't have the expertise or the equipment to fix Bug's leg.  He told me about an animal hospital that was 45 miles away through some heavy traffic areas.  Knowing that Bug was going to be in pain shortly if he wasn't already I knew that I had to continue on the journey to find someone who was willing to let God help them heal Bug.


ENCOURAGEMENT AT LAST!
The vet showed me the list of vets that were at the animal hospital.  One of them was a kidney specialist!!!  Oh boy, some of the burden was again being lifted!  God was sending us to a bone specialist and a kidney specialist!!

So, our new vet didn't charge us for that visit. (At this point a small blessing, but I'll take it!  Thank you, Lord!)  We headed on home to pick up a few things and headed out.  Traffic wasn't bad and we got there with no problems.

We told them what was wrong with him and someone came out to look at him.  They saw that he still had a catheter in his front leg.  The emergency clinic hadn't told us what it was.  We thought it might be another wound.  They saw that and asked if it was ok to begin treatment by hooking him up to fluids.  They whisked him away, big neon-green leg and all.


DOOM AND GLOOM
We went into a waiting room and the head surgeon came in speaking doom and gloom.  He said it looked like the kidneys were very bad.  The bones were no problem.  If the kidneys weren't bad he could fix the bones up fine.  They no longer had a kidney specialist there.

He said regular kidney failure showed shrinking kidneys and Bug's were growing.  He said maybe, with fluids and such they could get his blood into good enough condition that they could do the surgery on his leg, but probably not.

He said Bug might not survive surgery in the condition he was in and, even if he did, the bones would probably not heal.  This time the estimate was around $2,000 for the kidney care and $2,000 for the bone!  That was expected, but certainly wasn't helping me feel any stronger faith-wise!  He suggested they could do an ultrasound on Bug's kidneys to see what exactly was wrong with them.  So, I told them to do that.

They did offer a credit card that was specifically for animal care.  The amount would be interest free if paid off in a year.  So, I applied and got it.  That was it.  We went back in to say good bye to Bug and we went home.  The traffic was amazingly light.  Normally on a Monday afternoon the traffic would be horrendous going back home that way!  Interesting.  God makes arrangements for good travel when we aren't in an all-fired hurry!  It is hard to understand.

My son had gotten very rattled when the vet was talking doom and gloom.  Like I had said, he was the one who had found Bug in a park as a tiny kitten.  He loves Bug a lot and Bug loves him.  He lets Bug sleep with him.  My husband, Mr. Tolerates-Cats, won't let them in our bedroom when he's sleeping.


THEY WERE ONLY WORDS AND OPINIONS
I had to convince my son to turn his mind toward God and to ignore what the vet said.  The vet was only speaking words.  The vet was speaking from experience, logic, and knowledge of his own abilities.  We had to keep one foot in the natural and the other in the spiritual.  Bug was healed in the spiritual realm and it just had to manifest itself in his little body.  There was a purpose for Bug to continue to live and we needed to focus on that fact and not on any words about death.


THE DIAGNOSIS
When I got home I was exhausted.  The whole emotional roller-coaster, spiritual warfare, and lack of sleep had wiped me out.  I lay on my bed and slept for two hours.  While I was sleeping the vet called.  I shook the sleep off as best I could and called him back.  The ultrasound revealed Bug had cystic kidney disease.  Cysts were growing in his kidneys.  They saw it more in Persian cats.  Bug was a Tabby.

Then he proceeded to tell me there wasn't much that could be done.  There was no treatment for it.  He said they could try to remove some but, again, Bug might not be strong enough for that.  He was basically telling me that I should put Bug down.  Still being groggy I told him I had to process what he was telling me.  He was leaving but I could call back and talk to the surgeon on call.


STRETCHED TO THE BREAKING POINT
My husband and I sat and talked.  I did most of the talking.  All the things I had been holding back flooded into my mind.  What if this and what if that...

What if I couldn't really hear God?
What if I was crazy?
My whole Internet ministry had no value.  The Clarion Call was a sham if I was wrong.
What if God really could lie?
There was a list a mile long.  I'm not going to list them all.  It was pretty depressing.

I was all twisted up on the inside.  I wanted so badly to believe God, but my thoughts, the vet's words, my logic, the things I read about that kidney disease, and everything I was seeing and hearing SCREAMED out YOU ARE A FOOL!

My poor husband didn't know what to say.  He told me to call a pastor.  I quickly ran the pastors I know through my head and told my husband that, of all the churches we had attended, there wasn't one pastor with faith enough to even comprehend what was happening.  They couldn't help in any way.

ENCOURAGEMENT CAME
So he suggested I call a family friend who was a pastor but not working as one and who was a man of great faith.  So I did.  Well, as pastors do, he started throwing scriptures at me.  I often can't come up with particular scriptures because God helps me to understand the concepts by melting the scriptures together.  I usually can't pick the individual scriptures out.  When I tell what is in the Bible I have to paraphrase.  If I want specific scriptures I need to pull out my concordance or Bible dictionary to find them.

So, there they came... scriptures about faith, about God's power, about God being true!  He pointed out that scripture supported the authority to speak life:
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."
Proverbs 18:21

He ended up telling me that I had to believe God and do whatever that entailed. 

That was encouraging.  My husband was trying to think of someone else I could call.  I don't think he was very comfortable with how far out on a limb of faith I was climbing.  He was afraid I would fall.  He was afraid of what would happen if, well you know.  At the time I was not going to put it into words.  I told him that no matter what, I had to believe God.

I called and left a message for the on-call surgeon at the hospital to call me back.

I began to review what God had told me about speaking life.  The part about He is able to accomplish his purposes in spite of man became bigger in my mind.  I encountered the things that man was doing.  Man was telling me my cat was dying even though God said he wouldn't.


WHIRLPOOLS OF DOUBT
Yet doubts still swirled.  And swirled, and swirled, and swirled.  Why me?  Why me?  I'm nobody.  Why me?  Why a cat?  It all sounded so ridiculous each time I verbalized it to someone.  You should have seen the looks on people's faces.  Each time I told it the thought tried to break in about how, if all of it was a big mistake, I would be destroying people's faith in God.  Yet, our friend was right.  I had to focus on God and do as He said no matter what!

As it got to be after 9:00PM I was too tired to function any more.  I called to cancel the call-back with the vet and told them I'd call in the morning and went to bed.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006
TRYING TO STAY STRONG
In the morning I left a message for Bug's surgeon to call me.  I was praying that God fill my mouth with the words and keep me strong.  That surgeon was a very matter-of-fact man.  He spoke of what he saw in a black and white fashion.  He seemed very knowledgeable.  He didn't try to sugar coat anything.


GOD KNEW I WAS ON THE EDGE
In the meantime I started thinking about how God would usually send an email to me when I was having a spiritual battle that would help to confirm His will in the matter.  I had been watching for one since it all started but there was nothing.  I looked at my list of emails from the mailing lists I subscribed to and there, at the top, was one entitled Decrees and Proclamations. If you want to jump to it and come back it is here.  Wow wow, it was amazing.  God wants us to stand strong.  He knows what we need to keep us on top!


WRESTLING WITH THE SURGEON
The surgeon called me back.  I asked him if he believed in God.  "What?" came his startled reply.  Again I asked him if he believed in God.  He did. 

I took a deep breath and off I went.  First I told him that I have had some pets put down in the past when they developed life-ending diseases so it wasn't like I was a crazy lady trying to save her cat just because she loved him.  I briefly gave him the scenario of my being given the authority to speak life into Bug, I said I had an Internet ministry that was dependent on God not being a liar, I told him I knew what he said about Bug's prognosis, but Bug was not going to die.

I told him I didn't know what to tell him to do.  I told him that basically the only thing I knew was that God does not lie and that meant Bug would live.

He proceeded to repeat all the things wrong with Bug including some he hadn't mentioned before.  He said he wouldn't put his own cat through it.  He gave me a giant portion of doom and gloom.  He told me how cruel I was being.  He told me that he didn't give me one tiny shred of hope for Bug's survival and that, if he had, he would be guilty of malpractice.

I told him I understood what he was saying.  I told him I had a million reasons to tell him to put Bug to sleep and only one reason to not put him to sleep and that was God.  It wasn't about Bug, it wasn't about me, it was about God.

I asked him to please pray about it and that God would have to direct him on what to do.  I told him that I didn't know what exactly was going to happen.  I said maybe the next time anyone examined Bug the kidneys would be automatically healed, or they would gradually heal, or that they wouldn't heal but they would function to the point that Bug would live more years in a happy life and wouldn't suffer.

He again, tried to discourage me but I wouldn't waver.  I told him it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but that I had to do it.  I told him that he was an expert and that God would have to direct him on what to do for Bug because I didn't have a clue.  I told him that all I knew was that my cat was not going to die.  I told him God would accomplish his purposes, whatever they might be, through the life of my cat.  I asked him again to pray as he went along and to be sensitive to what God was leading him to do.

Once he realized I wasn't backing down he said he could do a blood transfusion on Bug.  He ended by saying something along the lines of he didn't want me to have false hopes.  He then said he hopes the miracle happens and then we all can rejoice.  That comment gave me comfort.  He listened to what I said and a seed was planted.  I thought maybe he would begin to look at Bug with a glimmer of hope and not pity.

They faxed me some forms I had to sign saying I knew that Bug had a fatal condition and I wanted them to treat him anyway.  They increased the estimate a few more thousand dollars.


THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY COST A FORTUNE
The money issue alone was trying to burn a GIANT hole of doubt in my faith.  We just didn't have it!  Plain and simple!  I didn't want to focus on the money situation just yet.  God would have to work that part out while He was working out the conclusion of that journey.  I was floating on a delicate bubble of faith and the money issue, alone, could pop it.


GOD WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOME
As I was writing this while everything was still fresh in my mind I was trying to remind myself that I had done what God authorized me to do.  I spoke life into my cat.  He needed to make sure that the life part actually took place.  How would he accomplish it?  I didn't know.  My cat had cyst-filled kidneys.  Would the vet end up doing a kidney transplant even though he said they no longer did them?  Would the kidneys just turn into healthy ones?  Would Bug get better in spite of cyst-filled kidneys?  Would somebody announce a cure the next day?  I didn't know and it wasn't my problem, it was God's problem.

Good grief, if the Israelites could cross the Red Sea on dry land, if an axe head floated, and the sun and moon were made to stand still, then why would it be so hard to believe that God would miraculously heal cats?


FLOATING AWAY IN UNKNOWN PLACES
After hanging up with the vet I realized that I no longer had one foot in reality.  I had been totally lifted off the ground.  I was in unfamiliar territory.  I didn't personally know anyone who had ever taken such a giant leap of faith.  I felt like I was hanging by a thread and swinging in the wind.  All I could do was speak life into Bug now and then.

I was fasting, too.  I realized I hadn't had anything to eat but when dinner was ready I just had no appetite!  I didn't want food to distract me from focusing on what God was doing.  It had been a while since fasting seemed to be like the right thing to do.  I don't do it to try to force something out of God.  I do it when I am pressing in to God to discover His will and it just feels like the right thing to do when I do it.

I would spend time thinking about Bug and praying that the people there got interested in him and would pay a little more attention to him.  I prayed they fall in love with him and cheer him on.  I prayed that all the people there (once they got past being angry with the "crazy lady that wouldn't let her cat die") start to feel their faith being stretched and dare to hope.  I prayed that one cat could be a baby step toward learning how to stretch faith for many people.


Wednesday May 17, 2006
IT WAS COMING!
Wednesday began my third day of fasting.  I felt God was expecting me to do some of the work.  If I was to keep His attention on this matter I needed to prove that I was serious about it.

I tried to focus on the rejoicing that would take place when people heard about Bug's miracle!  My mind still started to wander in the other direction and I had to pull it up short.  I had to not do what I have done for many years and that is plan for all scenarios.  This time there is only one and I must make my brain believe along with my heart!

I got up early and went into my prayer closet.  I spoke life over Bug who was still in the animal hospital.  Then I began to ask God if He could hurry the process of healing along.  I want everything done in His timing, but I know He also cares about my desires.  I wanted to get a phone call telling me to come pick him up because they can't find anything else wrong with him.

That would be a solution on keeping the hospital bill down.  Bug won't need surgery on his leg.

I asked God to send the angels to minister to Bug and to cause the life to manifest itself in Bug's body.  I pictured someone walking by his cage and seeing him trying to get up, no lumps in his sides where his kidneys used to stick out.

I spoke life into Bug again and it had a different feeling to it.  It was kind of like if you tried to put some clothes in your clothes dryer when it was already jam-packed with clothes.  They just wouldn't want to go in.  The life I was speaking just kind of felt like it wasn't worth much or something.  It is hard to describe.

THAT'S IT!  MY PART WAS DONE!  THAT HAD TO BE IT!

God was going to make sure that His end of it got done next.  I wasn't sure when and I wasn't sure how, but He was going to handle it!  I began to praise Him!  I began to thank Him for the healing.  I thanked Him for all the lives it would touch. I asked Him to help me to make sure all the glory went to Him and that I took none.

So, for the next three hours, amidst praising God, I anticipated getting a phone call from the surgeon telling me that Bug was healed!  I was wondering how long it would take them to notice.  Then, of course, they'd have to take him in for x-rays to see if they would reflect what their eyes were seeing.  Then they would start asking everyone if they put the wrong cat in that cage.  I could picture regular-sized kidneys and four healthy legs!  Oh, boy, it was coming!  The leg and the kidneys... healed!


IT WASN'T ALL THERE YET
The surgeon called.  He said Bug was doing better and was eating a little.  He said they were going to do another blood test that night and, if it was good, then he would do surgery on Bug's leg in the morning on Thursday.

Throughout the day I could "see" in my mind healthy kitty kidneys, four perfect legs, and no boo boo where the claw got ripped on Bug.

Yet, I wondered if God was going to do a complete job on Bug or just a gradual one like on Reeboks.  I was wondering if God was going to allow the kidneys to remain diseased but allow Bug to live in spite of them.  I was wondering if God was going to allow the vet to do the surgery on Bug's leg.  It wasn't what was in my mind's eye!  I saw an entirely healed cat!  Besides, with Reeboks, I know that his healing was a miracle, but others didn't see it.  They thought the medicine he took healed him or that he just recovered somehow.  If Bug was healed in his kidneys and in his shattered leg there would be no question that it was a God thing!

I was asking God to see that Bug didn't need surgery or any  more care because it would save us from having to pay for it.


STAYING POSITIVE AND MAKING SUGGESTIONS TO GOD
Then I concentrated on seeing the "heavenly host", as mentioned in the email I got written by Paul Keith Davis, there with Bug in the hospital delivering the healing that was the result of my speaking life into Bug.

I tried picturing different scenarios as to how it would be discovered that Bug was healed.  They unwrapped the splint and found a whole leg, Bug chewed his splint off and stood up and demanded some turkey (his favorite word and favorite food), they were petting him and noticed he wasn't lumpy in the kidney area any more, or somebody noticed some odd juicy stuff in his cage and discovered it was the cysts that had jumped out of Bug's kidneys.

Then, I started thinking, if there will be a heavenly host there to heal Bug, couldn't all the animals in the hospital be healed as well?  Now, there's something you could never explain away!  Then, what if all the staff got healed, too??  Oh, oh, oh, what if it was visiting hours and all the people visiting their pets were healed??  Is that too hard for God?  I THINK NOT!!!!

God's timing is perfect so I mustn't get ahead of Him.  I'm asking that He finish it before we incur many more medical bills.  I'm continuing to praise Him and thank Him.  He is Awesome!  I'm so glad He cares about us so much, aren't you?  I decided to spend the rest of the day that wasn't caught up in the daily job of being a wife and mom praising Him.

(On Friday I realized that I had listed Wednesday as Tuesday on this journal.  My mind was very confused with everything that was happening.  No wonder, when my prayer partner called me Thursday morning and asked if I was coming over, that I was confused.  It hadn't occurred to me that it was Thursday.  After all, I had two Tuesdays which made Thursday Wednesday, right?)


Thursday May 18, 2006
EXHAUSTION AND WEAKNESS SET IT
I began my fourth day of fasting.  Every other time I fasted I had V-8 juice I would drink.  This time it was only water and coffee.  I didn't feel bad but I felt slightly weak.  How did Jesus go for 40 days??

In the morning  I didn't feel the breakthrough that I felt the previous morning.  Perhaps the vet's words were bothering me.  I had expected to hear, "We can't find anything wrong with your cat!"   I was expecting a phone call of excitement and awe!  Instead I just got small encouragement.

So I was telling God how I wanted to have a clear and easy to understand confirmation that the healing had taken place.  I asked Him to write it down for me.  After all, He wrote on a wall in the Old Testament (Daniel 5).  Then I realized that the way that people are today, if they found out that God wrote something with His own hand they would worship the writing and not the One who wrote it!

So, I tried just speaking in tongues to communicate what my heart was crying because my brain appeared to be too worn out to hear Him, but that was not effective.  I felt no power or communication so I quit.

I looked at the clock and let God know that I had to wake my husband up and fix his breakfast and pack his lunch in 13 minutes so could He communicate some comfort and strength to me?  Tick tick tick, time to get my husband up.

I turned on my computer so it would be booted up when I came back.  As He has been faithful to do in the past, maybe He had someone write something encouraging in an email.

WHOOOO HOOOOOO!!!
YES!!!!


THE EMAILS
I got two!  I put them down below after the first email confirmation.   I read the first one (if you want to go read it now and come back it is here).  Oh oh oh, God is so very very AWESOME!  I had a slight problem with the part in the second paragraph that said it was a male who was waiting for Heaven to respond wholeheartedly.  Last time I looked I was a female.  (Just kidding.  What it meant to me was God was showing me that I was not the only one going through that.)

As I read through it over and over I was amazed.  Why?  Why should I be amazed at what God does?  Silly me.  The email ended with the comfort I requested:
Breakthrough is coming--because it's on Heaven's time table to come right now.

The email talked about a spiritual awakening that causes a desperate hunger that we might decrease so He can increase.  I went through that!  Then it talked about the preparation like Hebrews 12.  As I read Heb 12:14: "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord" my heart was racing!  YES, LORD!  He told me it was possible to live a holy life.  I wrote about what He showed me here.  That was step two and I had taken it!

I continued to read the rest of Hebrews 12 and my heart almost leaped straight out of my chest when I read verse 25:
"See that ye refuse not him that speaketh."

I DIDN'T!  I stood strong and continued to believe that God had given me the authority to speak life.  I did not accept any words of death!!  Each time I had to make a decision about what to do for Bug I came face to face with the fact that God had given me the authority to speak life into Bug!  If I had allowed any of the vets to put him down I would have been refusing God!

As I was typing this part I was waiting to hear the good news from the animal hospital.  I was just an "ordinary" person out in the wilderness waiting for the breakthrough so I could share it with you so you could see that, if we seek God's face and allow Him to use us, then we are not ordinary at all.  We are empowered to demonstrate what God wants for the world.  He will be seen in us!  I couldn't wait to finish this (if there is a "finish" to what God will do!) so I could offer you encouragement as you seek to serve Him.

Then, I went to read the other email I had.  It was from the Today's Verse from Heartlight that I subscribed to.  Most of them are fairly simple and not necessarily touching what I am currently going through.  That one was awesome!  I'd been focusing on all of this as part of my being able to encourage the Body.   It was all about ministering to and encouraging the saints.  The study is the third email and is here.
WAITING FOR THE CALL
The hard part was waiting for the vet to call to say they couldn't find anything wrong with Bug.  They would have to be absolutely sure that nobody switched cats, that I didn't fake the x-ray of his leg, and that there wasn't any kind of mix-up.  Then they would be able to call me with the news.  Oh, PRAISE GOD!

Tick tick tick, the clock slowly dragged.  I imagined I would get a phone call sometime early in the morning, at least by 8:00AM.  Tiny tiny thoughts of doubt tried to creep in to my head.  Each time I shoved them back out and readjusted my shield of faith.  I fashioned myself a helmet of faith in my mind and placed it on my head, but doubts kept creeping in.  Each time I would shove them out I would ask God to forgive me.

I began to read my Bible after I typed up today's happenings here.  I read and stopped to ponder things.  I would get excited in anticipation.  I started to imagine different scenarios of who would discover that Bug had been healed and how the news would spread.  I kept telling myself they were probably taking x-rays and ultrasounds looking for the cysts in the kidneys and the broken bone and couldn't find them.

During the morning the phone rang twice and neither time was it the vet.  I felt like my insides were twisted up.  I guess it was exhausting because I fell asleep a few times for short spurts.  I kept asking God for mercy and to end our waiting so we could bring Bug home.  I had even gotten his carrier ready and put it out so we wouldn't forget it.  Noon came and went.  I finally lay down on my bed and slept a little while.


WHERE'S OUR MIRACLE?
At 1:25 in the afternoon the vet called to report that he had done surgery on Bug's leg.  So, the leg hadn't been healed yet. Doubts immediately began hammering at the back of my mind.  I fought them off as I tried to make some sense of it.

The vet said that Bug came through surgery fine.  He had pins and rods and cement holding his leg bones together because they were so shattered.  Why would God allow this?  I thought we had breakthrough and the healing had been done based on the email I had gotten.  I expected a total and complete miracle but, so far, have only a small one.  Bug survived surgery on his leg.

The vet said we had to wait and see if the bone would heal.  With bad kidneys the blood isn't healthy enough to heal bones.  He said they would have to keep Bug there at least three more days.  I was all ready to bring him home that day!

I thought, "OK, Lord, what is next for Your cat?  Now will You let his kidneys heal?  Now will You create the miracle that is a result of my speaking life over Bug?  Will You pull all the pins out and heal the bones so the vet doesn't think the emergency clinic made a mistake and splinted the wrong cat?  WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

"Shall I continue to fast?  Should I start back up with speaking life?  Is it done in Heaven and just waiting to be transferred here?  Is there something else I need to do?"

"WHY WHY WHY did he have to go through surgery?  Are you going to give us extra money to pay our bills?  This is far from cheap!!!"


I FELT LIKE A YO-YO
How long would it drag on?
"In Your timing, Lord."
I was all twisted up and on the edge!
"You are my Comfort."
"Oh WHY won't you show me why this is happening?"
"I know.  Your ways are not man's ways and I wouldn't understand it all."

So, I could think of nothing else to do but to go to my prayer closet to see if I could get some direction.  I was tired and I'm hungry but I wanted to be doing all that He desired me to do.


QUESTIONS AROSE WHEN I CAME UP AGAINST A WALL
"How long should I fast?"
"Do I continue to speak life or is there a point when it is a done deal?"
"Is it entirely up to me?"
"If I do something wrong does that mess it all up?"
"Am I not speaking with enough authority?"
And so on, and so on, and so on...


BUG'S NEW NAME
When my son, Jeremy, brought Bug home it was a long time before he would name him.  I kept calling him Baby because I had to call him something.  I'm not sure how much time went by before my son finally gave Bug his name.  His full name was Scatter-Spot, Bug-a-Boo, Snagger-of-Stuff.  (He was a Tabby and had various spots of color scattered around, he bugged you with his kisses, he liked to play peek-a-boo, and he liked to play and would snatch things.)

When we first brought him home from the emergency clinic and were waiting for the vet's office to open we watched Bug on the floor trying to pull himself around.  I commented that we might have to change his name to Scooter.  While we were at the animal hospital Jeremy said we needed to add Conjurer-of-Injuries to his name.  As do most cats, Bug liked to hide in bags and boxes.  Once he went into a plastic grocery bag and got his head through the handle loop as he came out of the bag.  The bag then was following him.  He panicked.

We heard crashing and banging coming from different rooms of the house.  We ran to see what was happening and saw poor Bug running in terror jumping on furniture and running into things trying to evade that evil bag that was attacking him!

Almost all his claws got ripped out on two paws and the rest were damaged.  The vet put a wrap on two of his legs.  I had to buy a whole bunch of medical wrap and tape and antibiotic because Bug kept pulling them off.  He healed up just fine but has a healthy respect for plastic bags.

We're not adding anything about injuries to his name.  His new name is Bug-a-Boo Braveheart, Snagger-of-Stuff!

PART 2 The Entire Story

 The Emails and pictures




ARTICLE INDEX


Back to Clarion Call

 email me

 

 

Total hits all pages